Bordering on Bingo in Bismarck

SOOOOOOO close! Tonight was Bingo night, and I've practically been going through withdrawals because it has been so long since I've been.

A little preliminary info on how Bingo actually works. There are three games. The first game is "Blackout only", which means that you must fill your entire card within 55 numbers or less to win the jackpot. Jackpots range on the order of a couple thousand dollars, sometimes more, sometimes less, but in that general vicinity. If nobody wins, which they usually don't, then there is a consolation prize ranging anywhere from about $25-$100. In that case, they just continue calling numbers until somebody gets a blackout.

The second game there is usually some sort of small prize offered, maybe around $30, for getting the correct shape. So, for example, tonight was an X, sometimes it is a T, sometimes it is an H, etc. Then they continue on for the Blackout jackpot and the associated consolation prize. The "jackpot" in the middle round tends to be smaller, less than a thousand, but still several hundred dollars. Tonight's was $650, with a consolation of $70.

The third game is also usually blackout only, with a large jackpot and consolation prize.

The closest I have come to winning at Bingo prior to this evening was getting within two of the consolation prizes. Tonight, first round, I got within two on the consolation prize. Second round, one of my cards only had 5 to go when they announced there were 10 numbers remaining. Then she went on to call 5 numbers in a row that I didn't have. Then she called 4 numbers in a row that I did have, and I was 1 number away from the $650 jackpot. Didn't win. Booooooo! Then she called 3 or 4 more numbers that still weren't my number, and somebody else won the consolation prize. So close! Third round, got down to within a few numbers for the jackpot. Then hit a streak on the consolation round. Got within one number AGAIN! Again, so close!

I have renewed vigor for the game, however. Plus, I figure with summer coming on, my chances of winning are higher. People will be more likely to want to be outside rather than in the smokey bar, which means that the chances of winning at least the consolation prize should go up with less people playing. It's going to happen one of these days, I know it. And then you can all stop making fun of me for being an old lady, even though the people I go with are even younger than me.

Blitzing towards Bismarck

As some of you know, I recently left the tundra. The initial purpose of departure was to attend some training in Indianapolis for trial advocacy. It was like mock trial, but with only a week of prep time. The training was great, the people (for the most part) were great, and I learned a ton. I also worked 55 hours in 4.5 days. Not as awesome. But it was FABULOUS to get back to a "real" city. And downtown Indy is a shockingly nice area.

After completing the training, I took the opportunity to return to Michigan since someone else had paid for the $650 plane ticket to get me that close. My awesome dad came and picked me up and drove me back to Howell. I got to pick up Godiva (my horse that I ride topless - AKA Mustang convertible), which I am so excited to have back in my possession. Also cleared out the rest of the condo, got it listed for rent with a realtor, and played a 3D game of Tetris trying to fit the remainder of the crap in my car. The bad part was that when I "died", that just meant I had to take all the stuff back out again and start over until it fit. Sometimes the flat, skinny pieces (like large pictures) aren't always the easiest to fit in.

Also got to see some friends and family while I was there, which was amazing. But alas, time was too short, and I have returned. I have established a new record drive time at 13 hours, 20 minutes. I don't think it can be done much faster than this. Also, the car count on the Fargo-Bismarck run was CRAZY, a new record high was achieved. Counting time was approximately 5:00 pm - 7:30 on a Sunday night, and I hit 123! I'm tellin' ya'll, Bismarck is a happening place to be!! (Pay no attention to the news reports of the recent blizzard that downed major power lines and has several roads closed. It was in the 50s today, so that was just a little blip on the radar.)

Burritos in Bismarck

Ok, this post should really be titled Tacos in Bismarck, but that doesn't work so well on the alliteration front. So, I went to a charity fundraiser trivia tournament over the weekend. They had snacks they were selling for extra fundraising... water, pop (or soda if Chris is reading this), popcorn, brownies, and the "meal" portion was "Tacos in a bag". Is this a common thing that I've just never heard of before, or is this a North Dakota thing? I'm guessing it is a North Dakota thing, in which case, I'll elaborate. You take a snack size bag or Doritos, crush them up, and then dump your taco toppings in (salsa and all), and eat the taco out of the Doritos bag. I'm wondering is you could use a big bag and do the whole thing family style. The only thing missing was some Briney Beer.

Bigfoot in Bismarck

I have no idea who lives above me. I have no idea what they do for a living or if they even work. I don't even know if it is more than one people. But most importantly, I have NO IDEA what's with all the walking!! Maybe I'm just a big, lazy bum, I'm willing to admit that. But I have no idea how a person (it only sounds like one) can do so much walking in an apartment. Even if this apartment is as big as mine, WHERE ARE YOU GOING???? Do you take your laundry to the washing machine one sock at a time and subsequently return your clean laundry the same way? Do you not have a tv remote control but still like to channel surf? I'd consider maybe there is some sort of medical/bladder issue involved that requires frequent trips to the bathroom, but the fact of the matter is that there is never a long enough pause in the walking for a person to actually do anything once they got to the bathroom. I would be more upset about the situation, but I don't get the impression that the individual is trying to be loud. I'm just curious where or where you are going????? Oh, and I guess one more question, do you ever sleep or do you spend all night walking? It's almost to the point where it is like white noise to me... almost, but not quite. At least it is better than listening to Nike and Ralphy yip all day and night.

Beazers in Bismarck

So, I learned a few new terms this week...

Gritter: "Ew, you can't date her, she's a gritter." My friend Michelle asked me if I had ever heard this before, which I hadn't. Apparently it is a term where she is from that is somewhat equivalent to white trash. It's in urban dictionary, so I guess it's a real word, but nothing I'd heard before. As Michelle is several years younger than me, I tried to pass it off that I was just to old for such nonsense. But she informed me that her sister who is my age (or maybe a little older) knew what it was, so that excuse wasn't flying.

Incidentally, the next day I overheard someone use the term white trash in a nearby conversation at work. Naturally, this reminded me of my conversation about gritters, so I asked my co-workers if they had heard the term. They said no, but then asked if I knew what a Beazer was.

Beazer: This is apparently someone who thinks they are all that and a bag of chips, but really, they are just the smooshed PB&J that's a day old so the bread is soggy cause the J has been absorbed. Ok, I made up that colorful definition myself based on the understanding I have of beazers. Basically they said it is someone who is too big for their britches, but also kind of white trash. I was picturing a Peg Bundy type person when they described it. So, apparently that is the out down in this neck of the plains. It derives from the fact that there are the Class A high schools and the Class B high schools. In which case, I guess that makes me a Beazer. (Ironically, this is the name of the company who built my brother's house.)

P.S. I didn't win anything at Bingo last night. BOOOOOOO!

BINGO in Bismarck

Tuesday night... Bingo night! Normally there is a group of at least 4 people who go to bingo, but for some reason tonight, everyone bailed, some at the last minute and some earlier in the afternoon. So, it was just Maggie and I. For the record, Maggie is only 29, and while I know you all only think old ladies play bingo, not so out here. Anyway, we play three rounds. I was in charge of getting the bingo cards tonight, and between the second and third round, Maggie got up to use the restroom. I just assumed that she wanted two cards like usual, so I went up and bought $5 worth. When I got back to the table I threw them all down, she took her two, and I took the rest. Then she looked for some money, I had to make change, etc. I almost told her not to worry about it, it's only two bucks, she could get me next time. Yep... so close... Maggie hit the jackpot on one of the cards that could have been mine and was actually in my possession. Jackpot = $1,942! Yayboo!

Bureaucracy in Bismarck

One of the things that I have really appreciated about living out here in the middle of nowhere is that shit gets done. By that, I mean that people are mostly reasonable, even in the government, and things run fairly efficiently. As an example, I had a phone interview for the job two days after I mailed my resume, and a week later I had been hired on the afternoon of my in-person interview. As another example... I've been spending time reading the Constitution this past week (you know, since I am a lawyer and am supposed to follow it, thought it best to know what it actually says. The legislature here is Constitutionally mandated to meet only every two years, and for a maximum of 80 days. That means that they come to town, discuss the issues, take some votes, and get the hell back out of town and back to their real jobs as farmers, ranchers, etc. This also means that while you have to wait until the next legislative session for changes to be considered, once they are, they are implemented almost immediately. To me, this is the way government is supposed to work.

And sure, sometimes there are stupid "protocol" things that must be followed because it is still the government. As an example, my computer automatically shuts down after 7 minutes of non-use and I need to enter my password to get back in. This is to keep "unauthorized" people from sneaking into my office to look at "inappropriate" websites or to keep someone from coming in and "writing a fake email to me boss." A memo went around about the dangers of such activities and how we would be held responsible. In addition, when you leave your office, you are supposed to "lock" the computer. Speaking of passwords, I am also required to change mine every three months, and I can't repeat the same password for SIX YEARS!!! Killing me. Although since numbers are required to be in the passwords, my password scheme is pretty much "Rabbit300", "Rabbit301", "Rabbit302", etc. For some reason, this is enough variation to be acceptable. Ridiculous... but I digress.

Anyway, so state government, smooth and efficient here for the most part. Unfortunately, there is still a federal government around to muck things up. (For my Obama-commie friends, that is not a statement of intended revolution or anything, you don't need to report me to the White House. Just an observation that the federal government is not the pillar of efficiency.)

So, there is this guy here in the state who stole a bunch of water and sold it to the oil companies. (Not breaching any confidences here, it was in the newspaper.) By stole, I mean that he has a permit for a certain amount, but he sold almost double that amount. Anyhow, we (my agency) sent him a certified letter regarding this issue. We also sent a second letter to the State's Attorney because water stealing is a misdemeanor. And a third letter was sent to the newspaper at their request because we are all about real transparency out here and have crazy Open Records rules. Pretty much the press can see anything and everything we do with the exception of Attorney-Client privileged documents. Anyhow, we intentionally spaced the mailing of the letters so that the water stealer would get his, then the State's Attorney, then the press. The intent was that water stealer shouldn't have to read about himself in the paper without warning.

Enter the federal government... i.e. the post office.

Water stealer lives in a tiny town of like 10 people. Ok, I don't really know the population, but small enough that they don't have their own post office. Anyway, because they don't have their own post office, mail for tiny town goes to the nearby post office... where it is apparently then sent to MINNESOTA, whereupon Minnesota "forwards" it back to the original post office for delivery to tiny town. WTF! Meanwhile, we back here in the "big city" are wondering why we haven't gotten the certified mail receipt when it's been over a week. Meanwhile, lawyer Jen is wondering when the events are going to show up in the newspaper. Meanwhile, water stealer is blissfully ignorant until he either reads the paper or the horseback rider/bike rider/carriage driver finally decides the weather is nice enough for mail delivery.

I can't believe I moved someplace where the mailbox rule might actually play a non-negligible role in my legal life. And on that note, we'll end with a poem...

Common Law Mailbox Rule

Anyone who was half-conscious in law school
Knows the basic Mailbox Rule
That acceptance is valid as soon as it’s sent
And rejections are valid upon the receiving event
But in an attempt to learn the pesky exceptions
I offer the following list of perceptions

If the offeror specifies a way to accept
Compliance with such method must be kept

And if the contract is an option type
Only receipt of acceptance makes it ripe

But the rule gets more confusing and complex
When the parties intend to perplex
By sending both an acceptance and rejection
And requiring further legal inspection

If first a rejection is sent through the mail
But then an acceptance is hot on the tail
Whichever letter was on the faster snail
Will be the answer that will prevail